What Do They Like About You?

When someone tells you they like you, it can be helpful to stop and think about a few things. How long have they known you? What do they know about you? Have you talked about anything you are passionate about? How well do they know you?

Answering these questions can help you figure out why someone likes you which can be super helpful in determining whether you want to pursue getting to know them.


Example #1:

Sally meets Josh in a dark bar. The music is loud, and they dance together and have a few drinks. They decide to leave together. The next day, Josh texts Sally “I really like you. I had fun last night.”

Josh really doesn’t (presumably) know anything about Sally, other than what she looks like. They were both drinking, and it is possible that his recollection of their time together is skewed. He may or may not have an accurate memory of their time dancing, or even what happened when they left the bar.

The only thing Josh really can like about Sally, is her appearance. Other than perhaps, his assumptions about her.


Example #2:

Amy meets Derek at a group activity that they both enjoy, let’s say, idk, ceramics. They talk and laugh for several months while they are together, as a group, getting to know everyone, including each other. They discover a mutual interest in comic books and grunge music. One day, Amy approaches Derek, and tells him she likes him.

Amy and Derek have had time to get to know each other. They know each other’s likes and dislikes, they have common interests. They have spoken about varying subjects, at length.

There is a good chance Amy knows quite a bit about Derek, and has a solid foundation upon which to base her liking of him.


Now, I’m not saying it is a bad thing to like someone for their appearance. Aesthetics can be an important factor. However, without anything else, the “like” is only very superficial, and (unless you find other things you like) is likely to fizzle out quickly; which, is fine, if you are not looking for a relationship. It is up to you to decide what you need, and what you expect from a partner.

If someone tells me he likes me, it is important to me to know why. I don’t want someone who likes me only for my physical appearance. I want someone who likes my heart, my mind. Someone who sees my kindness, and my weirdness. Who loves the oddities and intricacies of who I am as a person. Someone who hasn’t known me very long couldn’t possibly like those things about me, because they haven’t had time to know those things about me.

Someone else may only be interested in people who like them superficially. They might not want anyone to delve too deeply into who they are as a person for one reason or another.

It is all a matter of preference, of course, as with anything else, and, of course, you could always ask someone why they like you… their answer will give you something to think about as well.

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One thought on “What Do They Like About You?

  1. Pingback: Index of Posts. – Inside the Mind of a Dramatic Mother

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