My dearest inner child,
You don’t come out much, do you? You are locked away so securely, wrapped up in blankets. This is partly your own doing, and partly mine. You have been hurt so much, and I want to protect you. It is in my nature, to protect, and you are oh so fragile… or so I allow myself to believe.
it is time, now, to take stock. I have to let you out. Keeping you hidden from the world hasn’t kept you safe. In a way, it has only hurt you more. You are pale, thin and frail. Sometimes, I can feel you in my heart, trembling at some suppressed memory. Other times, someone catches a glimpse of you in my eyes. That happened today, I think, when I was telling Judy about the dreams. The dreams scare you, don’t they? They scare me too. They make me feel angry, hurt, sad and alone. Forgotten. The memories I don’t want to have make me want to run and hide in my bed like you do. But I cant. We can’t.
It is time that you took a step out of your boundaries. I will be there with you, holding your hand; but I cannot guide you. You must learn and flourish without my leadership. You must lean on your heart and your mind, and learn to paint the world with wild colors. Without you, my world is black, and dark, and empty. Come out to play. Bring color to my world again… bring life, song, dance and play.
Oh, my dearest little one, you must know something. Something I have neglected to tell you for too many years. The memories, the dreams, the things that happened to you… they are not your fault. They are things that were done to you. Crimes that were perpetrated against you by people who wished to steal your light. Don’t let them win. Fight back. Please, fight back. I need you more than you can know.
I love you.
I always have.
I should have old you sooner.
I should have told you every day.