More Than a Big Girl.


Is it weird for me to not want a guy to like me because I am a big girl?

When a guy messages me and says something like “I love big girls” or posts on their page that they are specifically looking for a BBW, I immediately check out.

I don’t want to feel like someone likes me because it is their fetish.

I intend to lose weight, and I want a man who I can count on to help me through that instead of someone who will lose interest as I lose weight. I never intended to gain weight in the first place, and losing it has proven to be substantially more difficult than gaining it was.

My weight is not a fetish.

Knowing that you are looking for a BBW does not make me feel special. It does not make me excited or happy, and I don’t understand why anyone would think it should. When you tell me that, I just feel like “Oh, well, he only likes me because I am fat. Because I am disgusting.”

I don’t want that.

I want a guy who will message me, saying something like “Hello, how are you? I have read your profile and some of your writings, and I think you are (interesting / intelligent / SOMETHING of value) and I would like to get to know you better.” Maybe ask some questions, draw on who I am as a person rather than what I look like.

I know that there are many BBW women (and men) who love their bodies. I am not one of them. My appearance is my LEAST favorite thing about me. Comment on my body, and I will say thank you (if you are kind), but I will not say much beyond that. Compliment my mind, or my heart, and you will open a door to a world filled with dragons and faeries, where the air smells of peppermint or vanilla, or perhaps oranges, and the flowers are vibrant and fragrant. Where there is flora and fauna beyond your wildest imagination.

I am a funny, intelligent, thoughtful, kind, loving, sensitive woman. I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a niece and a friend. I love and protect fiercely.I love animals and books, I think far too much. I am analytical, and I judge myself too harshly. I also happen to be bigger than I want to be.

That is not who I am, it is just a small part of me.


One thought on “More Than a Big Girl.

  1. Pingback: Index of Posts. | Inside the Mind of a Dramatic Mother

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